You Lead, I Will Follow.

These past four years of my life have been rough ones. The constant Roller Coaster, you know that feeling when you think This cannot get any worse, there is no where but up, it seemed like I would say this a week to soon, and I lost hope. To everyone around me, I was still this happy, cheerful red head, who would do anything to help someone. Which is what I wanted to be, but inside, I was hurt, angry and bitter. My heart and my head were in the wrong place. Slowly but surely, God Grabbed my hand and this time, I didn't let go, and He showed me that I needed to change my life, and come back to Him. 

Why is God so good to me? It reminds me of Amazing Grace, God is so good He saved us all, even me. It blows my mind sometimes. 

Just Saturday I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, Everything was going wrong, Work, School, and just other details in general. Til 2 am came and I talked to one of the most wonderful people I ever met. And I felt comfort again. God allowed this to happen. He is wonderful.

Sunday Morning came, and I went to work for two hours and then I went to church, feeling revived after drinking a Rockstar Booster (Sugar Free) and had some discussions in Sunday School. And my mind was on fire, I kept thinking of all these verses and songs, and I was feeling so Blessed. 

I was stuck looking at the bad things going on in the world around me

I didn't take time to thank God for all of the Good things..

I have two parents who are together, and a wonderful family who loves me,

I have great friends, who truly care,

I have a job, I am in school, and so much more.

God is so good. I just can't stop saying it

I feel like I am a new person. Which I suppose is a good thing. God is Slowly chiseling me away and turning me into the woman he wants me to be, and whatever that is I will find out.

For once I am done trying to control my life, I am God's child, and He knows my path, so I need to stop putting my hope in people and the things of the world and put it in Him.

" My hope is in the Lord Who gave Himself for me. And paid the price. Of all my sin at Calvary"

He Lived for Me, He Died for Me, And He will raise from the dead for Me. I need to stop taking these things for granted. And be thankful to Him. I am trusting in Him to help me with my anxiety when I am overwhelmed, and he will Follow through.

One last thing.

On Sunday we were looking at John 10 and Psalm 23, and I have never been so inspired by this chapter before, one that I have read and had memorized since forever. He Leads me, Now I just need to follow.

A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.He makes me lie down in green pastures,

       he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

       He guides me in paths of righteousness

       for his name's sake.

Even though I walk

       through the valley of the shadow of death,

       I will fear no evil,

       for you are with me;

       your rod and your staff,

       they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

       in the presence of my enemies.

       You anoint my head with oil;

       my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

       all the days of my life,

       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

       forever.

Life Through the Spirit.

Stressed out? Over Worked? Underpaid? Underappreciated?

I think we have all had those days where we are facing every single one of these emotions, but did you ever really sit back and think of everyone else who has it worse? Although the road may never seem to end, someday, somehow things will get better. But why do we think we must do it on our own, Will it prove that we are strong and can handle it ourselves? That just proves you are too afraid to admit you are struggling, and would rather suffer.

God Is so good, why do we always forget this simple fact. (Not to say I don't, aka I put we)

It is just so strange to me, that He did everything for us, yet, we forget to include him in the life HE gave us.

We live our lives, like they are our own to control, But News-flash, if you take your life into your own hands, well it will be like it is in those stressful moments, where you do not know what you are going to do. He will help you, if you stop controlling your life, and let Him help and guide you. "The Steps of a Good Man are Ordered by the Lord"

Never thought I would say this, but God and the Backstreet Boys have something in common. He doesn't care who you are, where your from, what you did, as long as you (not to say he doesn't care, just details aren't the point) LOVE HIM. Truly love him, give your life over to Him, and be changed.

Romans 8:28 tells us: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

So Trust in Him.

He is there, ALWAYS.

Don't ever forget it.

Things Will work out for the better,

If you allow Him to Work,

His will, Will be done!

Well, It is basically 2 am and I just had to get this Heartfelt Rant out of my mind, Not even sure if it makes sense. But even if it doesn't it will be a daily reminder for me to let go of my anxiety and my pride, and take it all to Him, and let Him be my strength, instead of me going this race alone.

Love Will Save the Day.

So tonight is the eve of my parents 25th anniversary, and it has got me thinking, about love. What love means, what is it restricted to, and how do people stay in love.

Although their are "studies" which suggest love cannot last longer then 7 years, I know this is false. You know when you watch a movie, and you see two people look at each other, and you know it must be love. That is what I see when I look at my grandparents, and the way my grandfather still winks at me, then teases my nan, and the way every Sunday he makes her breakfast, whether it is a burnt piece of toast, that is not the point, it is that he is showing her he cares.

My parents have been through a lot over the past few years, and instead of letting the hardships bring them down, it has made their relationship stronger, and it is wonderful to see. My dad is so giving and caring, and my mom is loving and ambitious and together, they blend so well.

So after saying all this, I still did not answer, What is love?

Well, there are many different types of love, but in all of them Love is this :

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Love is the most powerful entity that there really is, that is why it can build you up, but when broken completely destroy ones being. God is love-- he will never fail. His love will never fail, when everything else is gone, and you seem lost, He will remain.

Love is not just for the "lovers" it is for friends, brothers, sisters. I believe love is not something that is easy, you have to work to maintain it, and keep it up. If we could live through love, we would truly find peace and comfort in our own lives.

Lean On me

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight

Seems simple enough right? Wrong.

I am constantly falling short, and instead of leaning on Him to help me get through, I try and do it myself. We are only human, we are only so strong. Why is it so hard to put all of our love and trust into the one who created us? We need to stop leaning on our own understanding and allow him work in our lives and change us for the better.

For awhile I have been stuck in this rut, and slowly but surely He is digging me out, and showing me that there will be never too much on my plate that I cannot handle. As hard as it is to believe, God is never going to send us out on a mission that we are doomed to fail, He is gracious, and loving, and most of all He makes no mistakes.

Wow, Could you imagine even going one day without a mistake? God is so good, and His ways are perfect.

I Know God Makes no mistakes

He leads in every path I take

Along the way that’s leading me to home

Though at times my heart would break,

There’s a purpose in every change he makes:

That others would see my life

And know that God makes no Mistakes