Thankfulness

Over and Over God shows me lessons I thought I already knew. Thankfulness. One of the first things our parents teach us is our manners, "please" and "thank you". But what does it really mean? What does it mean to be thankful. 

God has shown me that it is so much more than saying the words, you live thankfulness. God has made me thankful for growth. Thankful for my family, and strangely enough, thankful for my hardships, and most of all thankful for HIM.

Jesus literally paid it all--and I owe Him everything. 

Think back... remember something you did that was awful. 

Remember how bad you felt for doing it, how it ate you up inside. 

Now think, (I am a math student so I think in terms of math). 

Multiply that by every sin you commit every day. 

Now multiply that by every day you have lived and will live (hypothetically of course) now multiply that by every single person that has ever lived, is living, and will ever live.

 Can you get an answer, I can't. 

But think of how much shame that would be for one person to bear. 

That is what Jesus did! 

He bore all of the grief, all of the shame, all of the pain of the sin for everyone!

 It is paid, that means we need to break free of this guilt and shame, because it has already been taken care of, and shouldn't be allowed to hold us back any longer. 

We need to live like Christ, but when we mess up, instead of wallowing, and getting upset and letting it tear us down, take it to the one who has paid for it,  Who has set us free! He has paid the ransom, as only He could, He was perfect, and therefore was the only one who could fulfill the law. 

Most of all, when you mess up, be thankful! Be thankful for more chances, and forgiveness, be thankful for Christ's love. Be so thankful that it consumes your every being, and makes you strive to be more like Christ. 

That is what I am working on. Letting Christ change me, consume my heart and let His love abound. Being thankful, and showing His love to others, as He has shown it to me. 

No matter what I am going through, Jesus has felt it, and not only has he felt it, he has felt everyone's all at one. Such grief is unfathomable, but so incredibly amazing.

So all I have to say is Thank you God!

[The Righteousness of God Through Faith]
(Romans 3:21-31 ESV)
But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. 
Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By a law of works? No, but by the law of faith. For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law. Or is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles also? Yes, of Gentiles also, since God is one—who will justify the circumcised by faith and the uncircumcised through faith. Do we then overthrow the law by this faith? By no means! On the contrary, we uphold the law. 

Lessons Learned

Soo… I have been trying to write a new blog for a long time, but my brain is a jumbled mess at the moment, it is hard for me to just write about one thing, so I will write about many things, and hope that you can follow. If anything, it will clear my mind and make it easier to write a new blog.

            It never fails that the hymns at church are one of the key things that make me ponder my relationship what Christ. “I Surrender All” is the current one at the moment. Not I surrender a little portion of my life, and control the rest, not even a large portion and I keep a small part for myself, All! The other song that has been going over and over in my head lately is “Trust and Obey”, which is actually one of my favorite songs from my childhood, followed by “He is Able”. So you are wondering… ok and what is her point? Basically I need to Trust and Obey, through surrender, and when I surrender all, God is able to do anything and will carry me through, it is just getting that to stick in my head, and push the lies out that is the problem—but my God can do anything.

Lesson 1: My feeble mind is so easily crippled by lies and insecurity causing me to fall to temptation, or put other aspects of my life ahead of my relationship with God. But what is the point of going to school and getting a job, if I am not doing it for God’s glory, it is completely in vain. But if I am doing it for God’s glory, that is a completely different thing. God is working on a full renovation of my life, He is not just redoing the floors, and then maybe paint, and then when I let Him he can get new furniture, he is breaking down the walls of my life, tearing it all down, and building and reframing it the way he wants my life to be. Following him. I was created BY him, FOR him, and it is time I embody that.

Lesson 2: I can’t do it alone. The biggest mistake I have made is trying to do things on my own. Mostly because of pride. I wanted to fix it, I wanted the credit for fixing it, and I didn’t want to tell others about my life. But there is a reason I am in such a community I am in right now, and although the movies watched together, games played, and songs sung are all great, and wonderful, a community without true communication is not much use. God has put many people in my life who are constantly pushing me to be the best me I can be, and that is only a person who is strong in Christ. I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have formed such great friendships. I have many new brothers and sisters, and parents if you count Joey and Courtney. But for real, I know they are here for me, and it has a purpose, and that purpose is to help each other bear burdens, to talk it out and pray together. They have already helped me overcome barriers I thought were just part of me.

And the final lesson for today is over about the past 6 months, I have been re-evaluating self-esteem.  One of the easiest tricks to fall under in the world, for real. I am not saying confidence is a bad thing, or that tearing yourself is a good thing, However, I had to ask myself: what makes me worthy, how can I be worthy, How can I fit in, etc etc etc. I can tell you it is not in what I do or don’t do, look like, how many friends I have or whatever else can help someone deem them worthy. MY ONLY worth is determined by my creator. I, Alyssa Krisstine Benson am worthy of nothing other than death, eternal death at that. BUT there is hope for me,Jesus, died and made me worthy, but without him I am nothing. I cannot be defined—or worth defining. Christ is the glue that keeps me together, and gives me reason to live, and the only way I can truly live.

In sum, God is changing me by changing the way I think. Any change is not me, it is all Him. It isn’t easy; I can be stubborn, and spiteful, and don’t make it easy for Him. But I know that it is for the best.

[I Am the True Vine]

            [15:1] “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. [2] Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. [3] Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. [4] Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. [5] I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. [6] If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. [7] If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. [8] By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. [9] As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.

(John 15:1-9 ESV)